People that live in glass houses, shouldn't walk around naked...

Glass houses are gorgeous, glamorous, and luxurious but I don't know how comfortable I'd be living in one. I'm assuming that the neighbors aren't right next to you, but  what if there' s a high-speed helicopter cop chase and they fly right over your house and you're naked? How embarrassing would that be? So I guess my question to you is, would you sacrifice privacy for beauty?

It's tempting, isn't it?

I like the swivel chairs. 

This looks like a painting. I could live in a house that looked like a painting.  

But, I would feel so exposed. 

 and Peaceful. 

 I could have lots of parties, using nature's light. 

Blush colored bricks! C'est Romantique. 

So what do you think? Is it worth it? 

The Red Tree House in Mexico

This place is pretty. Wouldn't you like to spend a night here? 

Help Wanted: Mystery Shoppers at the Dentist

Do you trust your dentist? If so, consider yourself lucky, or naive( it's your choice). Currently, I'm in between dentists because I don't trust the quack that my mother goes to. He does great work, but he is a CRIMINAL! Do you know what it is like to go in for a routine cleaning and have someone reek havoc all up in your mouth?

Don't get me wrong, I've felt the sting of a snickers bar on my teeth. I've vowed  to never eat again because of an unbearably painful chip in my tooth. Routine dentist visits are an important part of a person's general upkeep. (Thanks to Obama it will be a part of my upkeep for at least the next 4 years.) But I also know what it is like to have a dentist list a series of indistinguishable codes that I need to have done-- or else.

3 months ago, I went to a specialist because I was freaked out about a small ,black dot I saw in my mouth. Luckily the dot was just normal skin pigmentation. The specialist told me that if I wanted he could remove my wisdom teeth for me, but if they weren't troublesome then surgery wasn't necessary. He also said that at my age wisdom teeth stop growing so they shouldn't be a problem, but if I wanted to be extra safe I could have them removed. He congratulated me on flossing regularly and told me I was lucky to have a good set of teeth in my head.

Of course I opted to not have the surgery. I was relieved that my mouth was fine. (F.Y.I. if you are a mild hypochondriac, please do not google your symptoms, or use web m.d. as this is the best and fastest way to drive yourself crazy.)

A couple of months later I needed a cleaning, so I went to my mother's dentist and by dentist I mean money-hungry liar. This man insisted that I had ex rays, told me that I had a crap ton of cavities, and insisted that I  get my wisdom teeth removed. He also offered to do some simple (expensive) cosmetic work on my teeth. Mid-way through this consultation a weaselly looking man walked in. The dentist introduced him as his assistant. After he was done with my "cleaning" I followed Mr.Weasel into a small room and he attempted to set up a payment plan and a follow up appointment for all of this work that I hadn't yet agreed to. The conversation (ambush) went something like this.

Mr.Weasel: Thank you for coming in.

Me: You're welcome.

Mr.Weasel: So I hear you have a few cavities, you'll need a gum lift, your teeth are rotting inside of your head, and you have horrible halitosis.

Me: huh?

Mr.Weasel: That will be one million dollars.

Me: What?

Mr.Weasel: We don't take American Express.

Me: Come again?

Mr.Weasel: When can you come in again to begin your treatment?

Obviously this is a dramatization of what actually transpired, but the feeling behind it was REAL! So let me ask you this:

Have you ever been to a medical professional's office complete with their own room used to set up payment plans for work you haven't agreed to and might not need?

Have you ever been to a medical professional's office sitting in the chair, or laying down on the table, or spread eagle with your feet in the stir-ups and had a complete stranger walk in the room to listen to your examination?

Have you ever been told that you need lots of things done to you that you've never even heard of  before?

At this point I realized that we are in desperate need of mystery shoppers at the dentist. For those of you unfamiliar with what a mystery shopper is, it is a person that pretends to be a customer, but is really grading the retail associates on their customer service, product knowledge, and overall work ethic. Generally, the mystery shoppers work for free, but get to keep all of their purchases. The retail associate doesn't know that the customer they are helping is a mystery shopper, they just get a report back from them.

So the American Dental Association should hire people(preferably those with teeth or those interested in acquiring some teeth), properly diagnose them, and then send them to different dentist to get their teeth fixed. In exchange for their labor, they can get their dental work done for free. Wouldn't this be a great way to keep dentist honest? Those that are mis-diagnosing or over-diagnosing their patients will get in trouble, and the world would be a little better for it.

Why?

I feel a little disrespectful, questioning these two pioneers' clothing choices, but I can't help it. Can someone please tell me why Whoopi Goldberg and Andre Leon Talley decided to wear their bedding to the  Met Costume Gala? Are these ensembles daring? Yes. Economical?Perhaps. Resourceful? Definitely. But is it fashionable? Hellas No! They might as well be wearing Snuggies.Talk about the walk of shame. Does anyone out there think this looks good? If so, please explain how. 

10 Reasons Why Elizabeth Taylor is Fiercer (Better for those of you that don’t speak mo) Than Marilyn Monroe

1. Just in case you missed it Elizabeth Taylor’s full title is DAME Elizabeth Taylor. Dame as in knighted by the queen. That’s right, royalty status.

2. In addition to being a dame, she’s also a dime (perfect 10 baby) The woman is stunning.

3. What has Marilyn Monroe actually done for you, (inspiration alone can't pay the bills) or anyone else for that matter?

4. I realize that number 3 isn’t a reason, so now I will list some of the awesometastic things that Dame Elizabeth Taylor has done besides bless us with her presence on Earth:

• In 1991 she founded the Elizabeth Taylor HIV/AIDS foundation

• She makes and sells jewelry. (QVC, honey)

• She’s given our Grandmothers their favorite scent, White Diamonds.

5. She can actually act. She has two Academy Awards and was nominated 5 times.

6. She is on Twitter! Her Twitle is DameElizabeth (We can’t hold this against Marilyn for obvious reasons, R.I.P. Gurl)

7. Liz was biffles with Michael Jackson. (R.I.P. M.J.)

8. She was born with first names to spare: Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor. Marilyn was born with the name Norma Jeane Baker. There’s no comparison really. Really.

9. Charlotte from Sex and the City named her precious doggy after the Dame.

10. Liz Taylor outlived her opponent in this competition, and still looks great.

*They are both icons in their own right, I just think Liz does it better.







Besides, if this was a Whose Image is on the Most Tacky Memorabilia competition, Marilyn would win.  (Unless Lucille Ball was involved in which case Lucy would win by a landslide, naturally)

Bright City Lights

City Skylines look so beautiful.

Morocco Pleases.



Tokyo Sparkles.



San Francisco Glows.



Even Vancouver looks cool.

Paris, Bien sur
.


Dallas Dazzles.

New York Loves.

I Can See Clearly Now...

Heartbroken wasn't a strong enough word to express how I felt that day at EyeMasters. The glasses I wanted were gone. I asked the sales associate (the only reason why I know the proper title is because I've worked many retail jobs) if there were any other pairs like the one I missed out on, and if she expected a new shipment of the same frames. Barely listening, she gave me a flat "Nope", and proceeded to show me another ugly, stupid, pair of glasses.
After checking out other EyeMasters in the area, I finally lost hope of ever buying these frames. They were perfect;although the style is fairly popular, I have a smaller face and the others looked way too big.

Months later I went back to the original EyeMasters, and there they were again. I hastily snatched them up, but, and here's the kicker, I snatched them up and continued to look around-- just to make sure there wasn't any other pair out there for me.

That's when I realized, what is wrong with me? I finally possessed the pair of glasses I had lamented over, for the past three months, and here I was looking for another pair.

What is this, this thing inside of human beings that makes us want more? There is a little voice inside of humans. So although we may have something that makes us happy, instead of just enjoying it, the voice says, "Hey, this is great and all, but wouldn't it be better if we just added this..." This beast is why happy lovers go astray, why weed is a gateway drug, and why we have oreo cakesters. An oreo is a perfectly adequate cookie, but the voice told the makers at Nabisco, to just add this. For now, I'm going to call it One Up Syndrome. I didn't see a better pair of glasses for me, and I'm glad.

Cotton Commercials

I think the songs are catchy, and casting rising singers is a good marketing strategy. But why the hell does cotton have commercials? Is cotton going out of style? Are people no longer wearing garments made of cotton? Are blankets being replaced with a cheaper, easily accessible material? None of these things are happening. To me, advertising cotton would be like advertising grass. The touch, the feel (whispers) of grass the plant of our yards. The question is, do these commercials work? When you hear the calming song of cotton, does that make you think, "Hey, I need to buy some more cotton-products, I'm running low!"



While looking for youtube vids for this post, I ran across an amazing cotton commercial from 1992, starring your parent's favorite pal, the shaky-voiced crooner, Aaron Neville. Please enjoy.

Bienvenidos To My Blog

Welcome to my blog. Before you proceed let me warn you: this blog might not make sense, and this blog might be random. But I will promise you this, this blog is dangerously cheesy. (A Cheetos reference, sorry I can't help myself.)

Either way, I hope you enjoy your visit, feel free to share your thoughts, and come back soon!

xoxo,

Melyssah Jade.