Jealousy

I recently had to end a friendship with a former best friend because of jealousy. I had sensed that this friend was jealous for a long time, but I chose to ignore her condescending comments and habits. When I did this her actions intensified. Finally, I let her know that I didn't like her behavior, but instead of changing her attitude she just changed her tactic. Although it might have been easier to stay in that situation it was best to cut ties. If you have a friend that gets angry at your achievements or is just mad at you for being who you are, then that's not a friend. Here are a few signs that I hope will help alert you to someone's jealousy.

1. They are constantly making jokes and comments that put you down. Both women and men do this. If your "friend" is always making jokes at your expense GET RID OF THEM! Occasional teasing is fine, but if this is an ongoing thing then they are not joking. A true friend won't relentlessly tease you, especially about something you are sensitive or excited about.

2. They encourage you to make bad choices. This is a big one because we lean on our friends for support and guidance. If you have a "friend" that encourages you to make bad decisions, whether it's something as simple as buying an item that you can't afford, or urging you to do things that you are not comfortable with, then THIS IS NOT A FRIEND!

3. They are always belittling your accomplishments. No matter how small an accomplishment is, if you are excited about it then your friends should celebrate with you. If you are proud and happy about an achievement and your "friend" tries to minimize or diminish your moment then THIS IS NOT A FRIEND.

4.They are overtly and aggressively competitive with you. A little friendly competition won't hurt you. In fact in can be a great motivator when used in moderation. However if your friend is competing with you over any and every little thing , then THIS IS NOT A FRIEND.

5. They are always talking trash about you.(This one can be tricky b/c you might be engaging in trashy or questionable behavior so use this rule in combination with the others as an indication of jealousy, but not by itself.)

6.They try to isolate you from the group. Obviously this one only works if you are in a group of 3 or more people.If the person in question is always alienating you from the group or conversation, cutting you off or putting you down when you try to contribute to the conversation, then THIS IS NOT A FRIEND.


Anyone that is intentionally making you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and dispirited is not a friend or a person that you need in your life. Jealousy is a combination of admiration and hate so a jealous person will always be curious about what you are doing with your life. It's up to you to firmly put them in their place and/or to end the relationship because they will only bring negative energy and unneeded stress your way.

*As we all know, jealousy is not limited to friendships only. If you have a family member or co-worker who fits the description of a jealous person, try to talk to them about it. Sometimes a quick, "I don't appreciate it when you _______(insert problem here)" goes a long way. If that doesn't help or work, then limit your interaction with them.

Style Network is Casting In Dallas!

Are you or someone you know close with their mom? The Style Network is currently casting affluent(ish) moms and their daughters for the docu-series, Dallas Divas & Daughters. To be considered or to nominate someone email bonnie@4thfloor.tv  ASAP! Eligible candidates must live in the greater Dallas area and daughters should be high school to college age.


Any entertaining mother /daughter duo, (daughters ages 16-23) based in the Dallas area can apply! Casting starts soon so hurry! If you have any questions or concerns, please email bonnie@4thfloor.tv

Now Casting For Season Now Casting for Season 2!

The Style Network is currently searching for Dallas moms & their
daughters for the second installment of the hit series, “Dallas
Divas & Daughters”.
Do heads turn when you two walk by? Are you sometimes
mistaken for sisters? Is your lifestyle the envy of everyone in your
town? Are you crazy for couture? Do you have a love/hate
relationship? Do people always tell you, YOU should have your
own TV Show? Producers want to know!
To be considered, email us right away! Please include contact
information, a current photo and your story.
Eligible candidates must live in the greater Dallas, Texas area and
daughters should be high school to college age.
bonnie@4thfloor.tv
(818) 325-6911

Take an A away from Gaga and you'll end up with Gag

I AM NOT A FAN OF LADY GAGA'S. There I said it. I've tried to love the gagster, but each time I listened to her music I just wished I was listening to Ace of Base. I watched her music videos and felt nothing.  I EVEN CHANGE THE RADIO STATION WHEN HER MUSIC COMES ON! Sorry for these outbursts but I've been holding this in for quite a while. Being a staunch supporter of the gay community and an artistic person I have been submerged(drowned) in the never-ending sea Gaga Love. Even my elementary students ask me, Ms. C, don't you like Gaga? Normally I just stay quiet or nod in faux-agreement, but now you how I really feel about The Lady G.

Nigga That's Gay

Two controversial words my generation has been berated for using are nigga and gay. Many people have waged on this issue and now I'm here to offer my two cents on the matter.

WORDS HAVE MEANING, BUT ONLY, BUT ONLY (yes I repeated that on purpose) IN CONTEXT. As a writer and just as a human being who speaks I take this rule to heart. So, with that being the case if someone is saying, "That's my nigga." They are saying that's my friend. They are not saying that's my person that I know who is contemptable, inferior and less than me because they are Black.

Riding along that same wave of thought, if someone says "That's gay." They are generally using the word gay as a negative adjective to describe something unsavory, unjust, unfair or just not right. For example, if I lost my metrocard and someone says aw, sorry Mel, that's gay. Then that someone is using the word gay negatively which is offensive. Let's try something. What if people used nigga they way other people used gay.

Person One: I just failed all of my exams.

Person Two: Damn sorry to hear that. That's nigga.

Person One: I know. That's super nigga.

Random Stranger: That's OFFENSIVE.

The best way to kill a word is to not use it yourself. If you don't like these words don't use them and hopefully the people around you will take the hint and not use them around you. It is impossible and hypocritical to forbid certain communities from using the word, but allow others to say it. Words are free for everyone that can say or write them. If you are someone that is easily offended by what other people are saying then stop reading now because life will continue to be prettygoddamnedhard for you to fucking deal with whatever the fuck people feel like saying at any cockshittingfucking moment. If you are still reading, sorry to curse you out, just making a point.

Welcome Back?

Hi Guys and Gals,
As you can see I took an extended and impromptu hiatus from the world of blogging. I was fully prepared to let this blog fade into the past but during this break a strange thing happened. I kept getting all sorts of wonderful and interesting requests for topics on my blog. People would stop me mid sentence and say, you should blog about that, that's so true why don't you have a blog or something. All of these comments combined with my mother's aggressive insistence, Melyssah don't forget about your blog, did you blog today? Motivated me to come back.

So I'm back, I think. I don't know how long this will last before my next hiatus, but we'll see where this goes.

This blog won't follow the rules of grammar and therefore might not make sense. Good Luck.Oh and if you hate randomness, learn to love it because I'm ALWAYS random.

xoxo