Jealousy

I recently had to end a friendship with a former best friend because of jealousy. I had sensed that this friend was jealous for a long time, but I chose to ignore her condescending comments and habits. When I did this her actions intensified. Finally, I let her know that I didn't like her behavior, but instead of changing her attitude she just changed her tactic. Although it might have been easier to stay in that situation it was best to cut ties. If you have a friend that gets angry at your achievements or is just mad at you for being who you are, then that's not a friend. Here are a few signs that I hope will help alert you to someone's jealousy.

1. They are constantly making jokes and comments that put you down. Both women and men do this. If your "friend" is always making jokes at your expense GET RID OF THEM! Occasional teasing is fine, but if this is an ongoing thing then they are not joking. A true friend won't relentlessly tease you, especially about something you are sensitive or excited about.

2. They encourage you to make bad choices. This is a big one because we lean on our friends for support and guidance. If you have a "friend" that encourages you to make bad decisions, whether it's something as simple as buying an item that you can't afford, or urging you to do things that you are not comfortable with, then THIS IS NOT A FRIEND!

3. They are always belittling your accomplishments. No matter how small an accomplishment is, if you are excited about it then your friends should celebrate with you. If you are proud and happy about an achievement and your "friend" tries to minimize or diminish your moment then THIS IS NOT A FRIEND.

4.They are overtly and aggressively competitive with you. A little friendly competition won't hurt you. In fact in can be a great motivator when used in moderation. However if your friend is competing with you over any and every little thing , then THIS IS NOT A FRIEND.

5. They are always talking trash about you.(This one can be tricky b/c you might be engaging in trashy or questionable behavior so use this rule in combination with the others as an indication of jealousy, but not by itself.)

6.They try to isolate you from the group. Obviously this one only works if you are in a group of 3 or more people.If the person in question is always alienating you from the group or conversation, cutting you off or putting you down when you try to contribute to the conversation, then THIS IS NOT A FRIEND.


Anyone that is intentionally making you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and dispirited is not a friend or a person that you need in your life. Jealousy is a combination of admiration and hate so a jealous person will always be curious about what you are doing with your life. It's up to you to firmly put them in their place and/or to end the relationship because they will only bring negative energy and unneeded stress your way.

*As we all know, jealousy is not limited to friendships only. If you have a family member or co-worker who fits the description of a jealous person, try to talk to them about it. Sometimes a quick, "I don't appreciate it when you _______(insert problem here)" goes a long way. If that doesn't help or work, then limit your interaction with them.